Divine Destiny and God’s Choices (Love and Predestination)

While sometimes debated among theologians, and even sometimes shunned by Christians as “New Age” thinking, the Hebraic concept of destiny and predestined mates has substantial support in the text of the Bible.

My personal take is God does, in fact, have someone in mind for you to spend your life with.

This notion is often conflated with us not having free will, yet I would argue that God is all-knowing, seeing all of time as the present, thus has complete sovereignty over us, even with our free will.

The classic debate of Calvinism versus free will comes to mind here. My personal take is we are responsible for our choices, but everything that we do serves God’s sovereign purposes.

The story of Joseph comes to mind, the youth who had a dream that he would one day reign over his family as a ruler, with them bowing down to him. It took 22 years to happen, but God doesn’t lie to His people. When He makes a promise, He keeps it, even if the path to get there looks strange to us.

My belief is that Joseph wasn’t being arrogant or conceited. He had heard from God about the future, and, as a result, he shared the dreams because he believed them to be divine communications.

But was this set of events free will? Or was it predestined? The answer is both.

What does that mean for us in search of love? Did we blow it if we ended up with the wrong person?

What does the Bible say about dating? How does this tie into the concept of soulmates?

For starters, every relationship teaches you something, whether good or negative.

So, we should be careful with whom we choose as a partner.

If you’re super into someone, but they don’t reciprocate that feeling back, they’re not meant for you, whether that means at that time or for good.

Your soulmate will be drawn to you and love you for who you are. Without question.

When Abraham wanted to find a wife for his son, Isaac, his servant had asked God to guide him, saying, “Let it be the woman who draws water for us and the camels.” Thus, Isaac had received Rebekah (who still could have said no) to be his wife. She was his bashert, his intended match from heaven.

If you ask God with an open heart, with a willingness to seek His will in all you do, He will show you the right person at the right time. There might be supernatural winks from heaven that you can’t explain in any other way. When God gets involved in things, mysterious things happen.

Unfortunately, sometimes people are at the receiving end of someone who didn’t hear from God, and whether intentionally or not intentionally, put lives at risk and make others uncomfortable. These people may suffer from an illness or might just be bad news.

What I’m talking about is supernatural synchronicities and winks that must be from on high. Not to mention reciprocity in feelings.

If God puts someone on your radar, He will put you on their radar, too.

“God told me this!”

“That’s funny. He didn’t tell me that!” This doesn’t happen when God is involved.

We must be humble, too, because love is something to cherish between two people and a sacred institution from the heavens.

God created Eve for Adam to complement him, to be his counterpart and champion. The Hebrew text in Genesis suggests an equality of men and women, even if men are hierarchically to lead as Christ would lead.

At the beginning of human history, God stepped in as a matchmaker. He still does this, too.

Humble yourself enough to ask Him who He’d have you be with, or, if you haven’t met them yet, to have you cross paths at the proper time.

But maybe it’s on you to make that initial move or set things in motion. I could be wrong … but I don’t think so. It’s up to us to prayerfully consider our next steps when love is the point of focus.

God knows who He created just for us. At the right time, all will become clear to you as well. That something that’s missing in your life might be right around the corner.

Dating isn’t found in the Bible, but courtship is, which is like dating, with an intent for marriage from the beginning. No room for wishy-washy intentions in the Scriptures. If you have that intention, make it known from the start.

I suppose you could meet your intended through a dating app, as I don’t limit God at all. But the dating world seems to be a disaster right now, so perhaps doing things prayerfully is the right approach.

I think being fair to both sexes is also the right approach. You’re good enough for the person you’re meant to find. The standards in the dating world I’ve seen lately are almost bordering on satire. How about both people bring things to the table? And how about being a gift to each other rather than thinking you’re God’s gift to the world in the wrong way? If both people are gems to each other, then that’s a start for a congruent match for you.

It’s great to have standards, though. That’s not the point I’m making.

We want to have the right things at the right time, especially the right people.

And a Christian can love an unbeliever in a romantic relationship, though that might be tougher and unequally yoked than if both people believe.

I have no business telling people who they should date or marry, only that all is best in the LORD.

But believe God for the person He created just for you. While it may not look like it on the surface, if you’ve had bad relationships in the past, chosen the wrong partner, or have been single for a long time, God has a plan for your life that includes love.

But when He decided on opening that door, you’ll know it.

Your intended one is out there, so prayerfully ask Yahweh to reveal that to you and to meet them and be the one they need at the proper time in your life. For some of us, that may be soon. For others, you might age to mid-40s before you find them.

But I know you’ll find them, if you’d only trust the Maker of the Stars.

God cares about every detail of our lives, not just some details.

I hope you find the hope you’re looking for, the person you’re looking for, and may it be done speedily in Yahweh’s name.

Shalom and God bless your romantic endeavors!