A Thought on Divorce: Spoiler—It’s not a Sin

While I don’t believe modern Christians can truly observe the Torah, the wisdom found within is a lifesaver for those of us who recognize the heart of Psalm 119, what it means to love God’s commandments.

In ignoring the Torah, many sides of Christianity create situations of bondage in relationships and how we deal with other people.

A perfect example of this is the notion that divorce is sinful. You’ll hear Catholics and Protestants alike agree on this one issue.

However, the truth is, divorce can be a good thing for believers if situations change to the point of toxicity.

Many modern believers don’t understand that English translations of the Bible are translating words incorrectly.

“‘And He saith to them, ‘Whoever may put away his wife, and may marry another, doth commit adultery against her” (Mark 10:11 [YLT]).

“‘And if a woman may put away her husband, and is married to another, she committeth adultery’” (Mark 10:12 [YLT]).

“‘But I—I say to you, that whoever may put away his wife, save for the matter of whoredom, doth make her to commit adultery; and whoever may marry her who hath been put away doth commit adultery’” (Matthew 5:32 [YLT]).

The word translated divorce in multiple translations in English means to separate and put away, but not fully divorce.

“And disagreeing among themselves, they departed after Paul had made one statement: ‘The Holy Spirit was right in saying to your fathers through Isaiah the prophet:’ (Acts 28:25 [ESV]).

The YLT uses going away, but this passage uses the same word for put away as the alleged divorce passages of Jesus do.

The word here is the Greek apolyo (1) and the least of its meanings is divorce. The proper Greek word for divorce is actually apostasion (2) which includes a bill of divorce.

In the Torah, in Deuteronomy 24, the Bible says a man may divorce his wife if he finds something unseemly about her in marriage. The terms here are general, and the indecency can’t mean sexual infidelity because the penalty for that was death, not divorce.

It seems God was general here because humans have hard hearts with each other and things might not always work out.

Please take a look:

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house….” (Deuteronomy 24:1 [ESV]).

If Jesus is saying what most people think, He would add to the Torah, which allows divorce. Which would mean He can’t be the Messiah, because He sinned by adding words to God’s Holy Law.

So, as is often the case with such matters, He wasn’t adding to the Torah. He was explaining putting a woman away or a man away without a proper divorce was causing both to sin if they found new partners.

There is a two-step process here: send away and give a bill of divorce, letting her remarry. Deuteronomy 24 further clarifies she is free to be another man’s wife after a proper divorce. Which is the antithesis of what most churches teach, telling people remarriage is a sin.

But it can’t be.

Many of them also tell the couple they must remarry each other because otherwise, it’s perpetual adultery.

But that would actually be a sin if they had been with other people. Because, further in, we have:

“And if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance” (Deuteronomy 24:2-4 [ESV]).

If the young man or woman ends up with someone else, it is a sin to remarry the first spouse.

Many churches teach remarriage of first married couples after they divorce, causing sin.

This happens when we don’t understand the Torah context of the New Testament writings.

The reason I wanted to write this post is there are so many people who are told their second marriage is a sin. That isn’t correct.

Jesus also mentions that at the beginning, the two became one flesh, and God joined them together. That Moses allowed divorce due to hard hearts. But from the beginning, it wasn’t so.

We should try our best to make our marriages work.

But if they can’t work after much struggle, or you find yourself in a toxic relationship with a stranger you never thought would surface, it’s okay to sever that bond. It might be best for both of you.

Besides, God created a soulmate for you. If you didn’t seek His will first, you might marry someone who is not your bashert (destiny or soulmate in Hebrew/Yiddish). That will cause so many problems, though I think even a destined relationship will have its share of trouble.

If a man is abusing a woman, or vice versa, or your spouse betrays Yahweh in some manner, it’s okay to divorce.

You are not sinning if you divorce to be at peace, or if your spouse joined a crazy conspiracy cult and changed into someone else, or if you’re being abused.

God wants peace for our lives, not perpetual toxicity.

God Himself is divorced. He divorced the northern ten tribes of the House of Israel for their unfaithfulness, the ten “lost tribes.”

God can’t sin, so to say divorce is a sin is to put God as someone who sinned.

If you’ve divorced previously, or are on your way to divorcing, you are not sinning.

It isn’t always the best, and there might be massive heartbreak and ill-willed feelings, but God has called us to peace.

If your significant other is constantly cheating on you, that’s a sign to move on. Regardless of gender. I’ve spoken about ancient Israelites practicing polygyny, but everyone involved gave their consent. It wasn’t behind the back.

Cheating and deception are not the way of the Father.
If a man is cheating on you, it is fine to divorce. If a woman is doing likewise, it is fine to divorce.

If abuse is going on, report it to the proper authorities and get somewhere safe and let things go.

Our God loves second chances, loves to birth new things out of the ashes.

Then, when you’re ready to date (court) again, you’ll do it healed and whole.

We must keep the Scriptures in their proper context, otherwise we end up with bad theology.

Our God does not want us in bondage, but would rather have us free.

If you love God’s commandments, you’ll realize He’s a good Father to us, only wanting the best, even in hard situations.